It’s true. I, indeed, am a fan of the S̶a̶n̶ ̶D̶i̶e̶g̶o̶ Los Angeles Chargers. It’s been a tough life, and frankly, it might have caused some early onset childhood depression. The memory of waking up on Sunday to watch my Lord and Savior Philip Rivers throw an interception and then yell “Dah gummit” will always be with me.
Ignore everything you thought you knew about the Bolts. The franchise that I know and (kinda) love can be summed up by one season: 2019.
W – Chargers 30 Colts 24 (OT)
L – Lions 13 Chargers 10
L – Texans 27 Chargers 20
W – Chargers 30 Dolphins 10 (thank God)
L – Broncos 20 Chargers 13
L – Steelers 24 Chargers 17
L – Titans 23 Chargers 20
W – Chargers 16 Bears 15
W – Chargers 26 Packers 11 – real Charger fans weren’t even surprised by this one. This was right on brand
L – Raiders 26 Chargers 24
L – Chiefs 24 Chargers 17
L – Broncos 23 Chargers 20
W – Chargers 45 Jaguars 10
L – Vikings 39 Chargers 10
L – Raiders 24 Chargers 17
TBD – Chargers @ Chiefs (At least the boys will end the season on a high note when they beat the Chiefs practice squad)
Ignore the wins and losses, let’s just admire these scores. 9 of their losses so far have been within 7 points. That’s absolutely brutal. That’s getting your teeth pulled without anesthesia. That’s confusing a bottle of water with your roommate’s dip spit (yes, true story). That’s marrying your girlfriend of 3 months just because you got her pregnant (check back in 3 years to see if this is true). Close losses are worse than blowouts for every sports fan. The blowout gives you time to accept your fate before the 4th quarter even starts. I truly don’t think I can handle another (attempted) 4th quarter comeback from Phil ‘The Thrill’ Rivers. I love the guy, but it’s sad seeing his career come to an end like this.
With that being said, I would like to take this time to officially announce my retirement from the Chargers fanbase. Dean Spanos bringing the team to LA was the straw that broke my camel’s back. He decided to leave SD and chase the money up the 405 where he was greeted by the worst attendance in NFL History (don’t fact-check that).
To show my solidarity with Phil, I will retire when he does (so, next week)
Comments are closed.