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The Los Angeles City Council Is Voting on a Resolution to Make MLB Give 2017 and 2018 Titles to the Dodgers

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The Los Angeles Times came out with the following story today regarding the Astros and Red Sox cheating scandal:

Bill Shaiken via Los Angeles Times: The Los Angeles City Council is expected to vote within the next week on a resolution urging Major League Baseball to recall the championship trophies presented to the Houston Astros in 2017 and the Boston Red Sox in 2018 “and award them to the Los Angeles Dodgers.”

Councilman Gil Cedillo, one of the sponsors of the resolution, said he expects the council to approve it. As of late Wednesday, the city clerk had not yet determined what day the resolution would come up for a vote.

Cedillo, whose district includes Dodger Stadium, said neither the Dodgers nor his constituents had requested the resolution.

What up council, this is exactly what I didn’t want to happen.

And not because I don’t think the Dodgers would’ve won the World Series in 2017 had the Astros not cheated, but because the championship is now tainted. I like the part about recalling the championship trophies presented to the Astros, but not the part about then awarding it to the Dodgers. Obviously they’re doing this to make headlines, but I think it’s unreasonable to award a championship to a team after they technically already lost.

Of course I think the Dodgers would’ve taken at least two out of three games in Houston, and eventually won the Series, but we still don’t know for sure what would’ve happened. And that’s the real bummer of it all. Two years removed from that championship, it wouldn’t even change anything. It wouldn’t feel like the truly Dodgers won it, even though the books would say they did. And would there be a parade? A ceremony? Would they bring back all the guys that were on the 2017 roster? That would be the saddest championship celebration of all time. I’d still go…but damn it would be a weird experience.

They should just put an asterisk by the 2017 season and leave it at that. But, if they do end up vacating the Astros of their title, I’ll probably end up pleasure myself to the video of them taking the trophy away, if one were to surface.

And there’s no need for the Red Sox to have their championship taken away, if I’m being honest. It was proven that although they cheated during the 2018 season, they did not cheat during the playoffs. Even though they’re still pieces of shit for cheating in the first place, their championship shouldn’t be vacated for it.

I appreciate the thought, LA City Council, but I think maybe you should revise the resolution to just vacate the Astros of their championship and leave it at that. Watching Astros fans cry on Twitter and the news about it would be amazing.

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‘Watchmen’ Is Officially Not Coming Back for a Season Two

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PASADENA, Calif. – “Watchmen” won a loyal following and critical acclaim, as the superhero comics series was adapted into a politically relevant drama about race and the criminal justice system.

But don’t look for a second season of the drama, which wrapped up its nine-episode run last month, largely because creator Damon Lindelof isn’t interested in doing it.

HBO programming chief Casey Bloys told USA TODAY Wednesday that Lindelof, the co-creator of ABC’s “Lost” who also created HBO’s “The Leftovers,”  “brilliantly took this graphic novel and just kind of broke it open and created a whole new world,” in which Regina King starred as a masked cop in Tulsa, in a 2019 when Robert Redford is president.

“It’s really in Damon’s thinking about what he wants to do. If there’s an idea that excited him about another season, another installment, maybe like a ‘Fargo,’ ‘True Detective’ (anthology) take on it, or if he wants to do something different altogether. We’re very proud of ‘Watchmen,’ but what I’m most interested in what Damon wants to do.”

The answer: Nothing.

Lindelof told USA TODAY this week that he’s told the story he wants to tell and has no interest in a second season, though he’s “given my blessing” to HBO should it want to pursue a new installment with another writer-producer.

But Bloys concedes that’s unlikely to happen: “It would be hard to imagine doing it without Damon involved in some way.”

In a time where there really aren’t any good TV shows on, this isn’t the news I needed to see. Maybe it would’ve softened the blow a little bit if I were in the middle of a season of Succession or The Mandalorian right now, but sadly, we’re in the offseason.

I really wanted there to be another season of this show; I feel like there truly were so many more stories to tell. I’m not discrediting the genius of this lone first season, but the cliffhanger that ended the final episode really made it seem like they would continue the show. What happens to Ozymandias? Does Angela become Dr. Manhattan? And who the fuck was lube man?

I guess HBO really only saw Lindelof as the guy capable to lead Watchmen. Obviously he did an incredible job, but there are tons of other writers and directors who I’m sure could’ve continued the story. Hopefully one of the writers comes goes to HBO with an incredible idea for a second season so they can continue the story. However, if they choose to leave it as is, I can’t be upset with them not wanting to mess with perfection.

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Alex Cora, ‘Most’ Astros Players Involved in Cheating Scandal

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Source: Alex Cora, Houston’s bench coach in 2017 and the Red Sox’s manager since 2018, is heavily implicated throughout the report. He’s said to have called down to the video room to get signs early in 2017, which constitutes improper usage of a dugout phone, and he is also the only non-player mentioned by name who had a role in devising the garbage can system.

“Cora was involved in developing both the banging scheme and utilizing the replay review room to decode and transmit signs. Cora participated in both schemes, and through his active participation, implicitly condoned the players’ conduct,” the report says. The Red Sox are currently under investigation for a 2018 sign-stealing scheme in and Cora’s punishment will be announced at a later date.

As part of the fallout from the league’s report on the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal, Cora was fired by the Red Sox on Tuesday. The league’s investigation into the Red Sox’s own sign-stealing scheme during their 2018 championship season is still ongoing. Cora’s managerial career may be over, but he still awaits his punishment from the league. Our staff discussed Cora’s likely punishment from his involvement in sign-stealing scandals with two separate teams.

We all knew that an Astros coach or two (at least) had to have been involved in this cheating scandal, but now we know that Alex Cora is the guy.

Alex Cora really deserves a lifetime ban. He lacks the integrity that’s required of any person employed by Major League Baseball. He clearly will do whatever it takes to win…and who knows where it would’ve stopped? I’m surprised some backroom video intern hasn’t turned up dead because of this whole situation, so Cora could cover up his tracks. Obviously I’m joking, but it just seems like the kind of thing he would do based on his moral standards. Since it turns out he was the most senior person in the organization to conspire with the players in the scandal, of course he wasn’t able to stop once he left Houston. He went on to manage the Red Sox the following season and continued his cheating ways there.

Just a reminder that all this takes place after Manfred’s statement (because of Red Sox and Yankees cheating) in 2017 that “All 30 clubs have been notified that future violations of this type will be subject to more serious sanctions, including the possible loss of draft picks”. Cora valued winning over the integrity of the game and disrespected everyone in the league office when he continued to break the rules. It just goes to show that there is no reason he should be allowed back in the league after this.

And listen, A.J. Hinch isn’t innocent here either. While Axisa went on to note that “Hinch went so far as to damage monitors”, shows that he did disapprove of the cheating. But, where he is at fault is that he did nothing further to put an end to it. Therefore, his suspension is still warranted.

However, it’s also players like Brian McCann, a noted  “play the game the right way” type of guy, Justin Verlander, who has been vocal in the past about players that test positive for PED’s, and that smug fuck Alex Bregman that really make the organization look like a bunch of paradoxical conniving pricks.

It’s always the guys that are extremely outspoken against a specific topic (cheating in this case) that are actually the shittiest people. Brian McCann got mad at Jose Fernandez for pimping his first career home run (as a rookie) a little lol what a punk. And I never really had a reason to hate Alex Bregman besides the fact that he was a good, which is out of respect, until now…which I’m kinda happy about? He seemed like a dick even back in his LSU days, so now that he played a legitimate role in robbing the Dodgers of their first championship in 29 years, I have an actual reason to hate him.

And if I failed to express how ridiculous it was that the Astros didn’t have their 2017 World Series title taken away in my last blog, then this Bill Plaschke article from the LA Times should do.

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MLB Hits Houston Astros Hard With Fines/Suspensions, but Were They Harsh Enough?

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Well it finally happened. The MLB Commissioner’s office officially released the Astros’ punishment for cheating during the 2017 and 2018 season. Mike Axisa of CBS Sports reported:

Monday afternoon, Major League Baseball and commissioner Rob Manfred announced their punishment for the Houston Astros stemming from the team’s sign-stealing scandal. The Astros were alleged to have illegally used electronics to steal signs during their 2017 World Series Championship run and MLB‘s investigation verified media reports.

Here is a recap of the discipline:

  • Astros fined $5 million, the maximum allowed under MLB’s constitution.
  • GM Jeff Luhnow suspended for one year. Luhnow was then fired by the Astros.
  • Manager A.J. Hinch suspended for one year. Hinch was then fired by the Astros.
  • Former assistant GM Brandon Taubman suspended one year.
  • Astros forfeit their first and second round draft picks the next two years.

Manfred issued a nine-page report detailing MLB’s investigation and explaining how he arrived at the discipline. The scandal and the level of discipline are unprecedented, and yet the punishment also feels a little light.

Specifically, the $5 million fine is probably not enough to deter similar behavior in the future. Hinch and Luhnow getting suspended and then fired will undoubtedly resonate throughout baseball circles, but, at the ownership level, the $5 million fine is a pittance relative to the financial windfall associated with winning the 2017 World Series.

Astros players took home a then-record $30,420,155.57 postseason pool in 2017, and, given how that is calculated and the fact the Astros played seven games in the ALCS and World Series, it means the club itself took home something well north of that following the 2017 postseason run. The $5 million fine amounts to only a small piece of that pie.

Manfred’s discipline was harsh like it should have been, but it was also not as harsh as it could have been and maybe should have been. The single best way to drive home a point and invite change is to take away money, and MLB did not take away enough from the Astros. That 2017 World Series win more than paid for itself.

The only thing I really cared about was whether or not the Astros cheated in the 2017 postseason, in which they went on to defeat the Dodgers in the World Series. Since it turns out they did, there’s one thing missing from their punishment handed down from Rob Manfred: They should’ve had their World Series championship stripped, and you can’t change my mind about that.

In all honesty, I wouldn’t have cared if not a single player or coach got suspended as long as they lost their World Series (USC style). Fine, they did it in the regular season. But cheating in the postseason after the commissioner’s office issued a warning to the Red Sox and Yankees on Sep.15, 2017 about cheating is basically a giant “fuck you” to Manfred. Every win from then on out should have been vacated, including the World Series, no doubt about it.

However, maybe the commissioner’s office determined that there was no way they could vacate their World Series championship. Fine. But how did not a single player get suspended for the 2020 season? Not even a fine? That’s what I don’t understand about their ruling. The Astros are a team comprised of Carlos Correa, Justin Verlander, Alex Bregman, Jose Altuve, and George Springer, among others. They’re going to be alright. Do you think firing their GM and manager, and taking away a few draft picks is going to severely impact their production next season? Probably not. I think you could get Kate Upton to fill out the lineup card every game and they still win 90+ next year because they’re that stacked.

I forgot to mention the $5 million fine the Astros must pay as well. I get it…that’s the max amount they can be fined under the MLB Constitution, but really that’s just a slap on the wrist. For reference, Jacoby Ellsbury made $21 million last year and hasn’t played a game in the MLB since 2017.

All this is not to say I think the Dodgers should be awarded the 2017 World Series title, even though odds are they win if the Astros don’t cheat…I just want the Astros to be dethroned.  Even after the 2004 USC Trojans were forced to vacate their title, it’s not like another school was given their championship. That’s how I feel about the Astros’ situation. However, unless you’re an Astros fan, no one thinks that championship is legitimate any longer anyway. Hope it was worth it, Houston. Enjoy getting viciously booed at every ballpark next season!

Stay tuned for MLB’s punishment for Alex Cora and the Red Sox!

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‘1917’ Full Movie Review

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This Post Contains Spoilers 

The First World War is heavily underrepresented in cinema, which is surprising considering the fact that roughly 40 million people died, 32 countries across the world were involved, and it basically bred the hate in Europe (Germany) that led to WWII. The extent of my WWI knowledge basically is that Franz Ferdinand getting shot started it and the U.S. came in at the end of the war to help end it. I will definitely have to educate myself on it one of these days. WWII has had a million movies made about it…some of my favorites in fact, from Saving Private Ryan to Casablanca to the HBO series Band of Brothers. The only WWI movie I know I’ve seen off the top of my head is Sergeant York, and I can guarantee most people nowadays have no idea what that is. I did a little research, and even after checking out lists of the greatest WWI movies, I couldn’t find another I had seen, and most were made last century.

That’s why I was so excited to see 1917. I was extremely anxious to find out more about this major war that I know so little about. And learning that the movie is loosely based on a true story told by director Sam Mendes’s grandfather made it all the more intriguing.

Let’s Get To The Review

The movie opens on a shot of the beautiful French countryside, the first shot of a seemingly single take that will span throughout (almost) the entire movie. We meet two napping British soldiers, Lance Corporal Will Schofield (George MacKay) and Lance Corporal Tom Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman), who will be our central protagonists in the film. Blake is then tasked by a senior officer to choose a man and report to the general or orders. He chooses Schofield, who happens to be lying next to him. They’ll probably just be asked to chop some wood or get some food, right? Wrong.

General Erinmore (Colin Firth – and the first of several notable cameos) tells Blake and Schofield that they are to make a roughly nine-mile journey through German-heavy land to call off an attack that their 2nd Battalion is planning to make against the Germans. Oh, and Blake’s brother is among the men in the 2nd Battalion. “Why don’t they just phone the regiment to call off the attack” you ask? Well because those bastard Germans cut the phone lines. Therefore, they need to travel by foot to deliver them message.

Blake and Schofield immediately set out on their journey, which first requires them to maneuver through an open battlefield that they’re not sure has Germans on the other side of it. Keep in mind that WWI was dominated by trench warfare, and although British intelligence heard that the Germans had moved on from their trenches, but they won’t know for sure until they get to the other side. So, not knowing whether or not they’ve got a sniper staring them down this whole time, they have to maneuver through this open field (with very limited cover) cautiously. What becomes extremely noticeable early on in this movie is that the sets are incredible. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for the crew to build all the trenches and manufacture a WWI battlefield that truly looks like it would have looked in 1917.

While most of the movie is thrilling and full of action, there are no doubt slow points (a scene in which we meet a French civilian woman who is nursing a baby comes to mind), that are reminiscent of Dunkirk – a movie I found awfully boring and anticlimactic. Also, the British accents were tough to understand at times, which after watching Game of Thrones, I thought I would have adapted to. There were several lines critical to the plot that I flat-out missed because of this, but overall doesn’t take away from the film too much. However, that is just me knit picking an otherwise incredible movie. If I’m being honest, I would compare 1917 more to Saving Private Ryan than Dunkirk. That’s probably because the clear connection of “soldiers on a race against time” is the central theme that drives 1917, much like Saving Private Ryan.

And since it has been made such a big deal, I should address the continuous shot feel that the movie gives. Obviously, the entire movie wasn’t shot in one take, as it would have required a nearly impossible amount of coordination…but it still does a very good job of giving the effect. Don’t get me wrong, I was about 15 minutes into the movie before I could spot a point where they probably cut, which is incredible on the part of both the cast and crew. The screenplay for the opening sequence alone should win the film an Oscar, and in thinking back on what the process was like to shoot these incredibly long scenes, I can’t imagine Sam Mendes not taking home Best Director – putting my Bong Joon Ho (Parasite) bias aside.

In being able to adapt stories told to him by his grandfather, Sam Mendes undoubtedly captures the essence of what it would have been like to serve in WWI. What makes this movie so good is the nonstop threat of an attack. The Germans could show up at any moment, and being on their own makes it all the more exciting and nerve-wracking…even in the slower scenes. While not dialogue-heavy roles for MacKay and Chapman, they deliver superb performances nonetheless, which was paramount since they appeared in nearly every scene.

Rating: 8.7/10

Editor’s note: I also look forward to seeing Tommen Baratheon in more roles I can root for him in.

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‘Don’t F–k With Cats’: There Is Definitely a Third Hand in Magnotta’s Video

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~This post contains spoilers~

‘Don’t F**k With Cats’ was one of the wildest things I’ve seen in a while, and I just watched former Bachelorette Hannah Brown tell a story about how she fucked current Bachelor, Peter, four times in a windmill in front of a group of girls he’s currently “dating”. And honestly, I’m really not the biggest fan of these types of documentaries, mostly because they just bum me out more than anything. But with the immense hype surrounding DFWC, plus it being all over Twitter, I had to check it out.

Overall it was fantastic, and I was surprised that throughout watching the entire documentary, none of it sounded familiar. This all took place in 2012, which wasn’t too long ago…and for how big of a deal it was at the time, I though it would’ve rung some bells. Oh well.

If you’re reading this I’m assuming you watched the documentary, so there’s really no need to dive into the nitty gritty details. I just have one concern that I want to address. How did they just gloss over the fact that there was clearly a third hand in one of the cat killing videos??

Photo via TMZ

Of course we can’t forget that the third hand defense was Luka Magnotta’s crazy mother’s rationale for thinking “Manny” was there as well. We learn that Manny is 99.9% not a real person, but it’s hard to just forget that there is definitely another hand in this video. I’ve re-watched the scene about fifteen times now and I’ve concluded that there has to be another person with Luka in this video. You can’t convince me otherwise. There are clearly two hands petting the cat, meaning someone else has to be holding the camera/petting the cat with the stray third hand.

The way the documentary set up this scene made me think they were going to eventually find the other person in the video, but it was never mentioned again. Maybe it wasn’t taken as seriously because this unidentified person wasn’t there when Magnotta killed Jun Lin, but there is no denying that there’s still a sick fuck on the loose. This person willingly associated with Luka Magnotta and tortured (then murdered) a helpless cat. I just hope this person doesn’t graduate onto killing humans like Luka did.

All in all, I will never be able to look at the internet the same after watching this documentary. I think most people are aware of maybe 1% of the internet’s potential, and ‘Don’t F**k With Cats’ showed me how expansive it is. Being that I mostly just stick to websites that address sports, news, and entertainment, it’s easy to forget that there is an underbelly of the internet that has a plethora of disgusting and violent content. Ever heard of the dark web??

I think I’ll continue to stick to cat videos that are more like these from now on:

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Why Is the CFP National Championship on a Monday? The NCAA Hates Hard-Working Americans, That’s Why

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LSU vs. Clemson. The top two college football programs of 2019 are squaring off in a championship showdown for the ages on Monday, January 13th 8pm eastern time. The only problem with the last sentence? 8pm EASTERN TIME. That might not mean anything to you if you live on the East Coast or even in the middle of the country…but if you’re one of the millions of Americans that lives in the Pacific Time Zone, you know exactly what the problem is.

8 pm ET is 5 pm PST, which is wayyy too early for a National Championship game. Most of us are either still at work or commuting home, which is exactly what I will be doing. I work a regular job during the day from 8:30 am – 5:30 pm, so I will end up missing most of the game thanks to Los Angeles traffic (it takes me a little over an hour to make my 22-mile commute. All you people from Ohio and Texas or whereverthefuck need to stop moving here).

Judging by when I’ve come home during the Monday Night Football games this year, the Championship should have something like four minutes left in the third quarter by the time I’m home. I’ll listen to it on the radio on the way home of course, but it’s not the same. In a game that will feature Trevor Lawrence’s (and his hair), Heisman winner Joe Burrow, and Ed Orgeron (watching Ed on the sideline is world-class entertainment in itself), it’s an absolute travesty that I’ll miss most of it. Plus they got Kendrick Lamar performing during the halftime show! Money Trees?? Banger. Not to mention probably the worst part of it all: I’ll miss Ed Orgeron saying “GO TIGAHS” in the pregame interview.

All this is to say that it’s the stupidest thing in the world that this game isn’t played over the weekend. I don’t care if they scheduled it for 8 am on Saturday, everyone would still watch it. But for the millions of people like me, I guess we’ll have to settle for a strong end of third and fourth quarter. The NCAA can’t seem to do anything right…except for women’s volleyball, of course.

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John Fassel Hired by the Dallas Cowboys

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The long time Rams Special Teams Coordinator and fake punt king John “Bones” Fassel is now apart of the Dallas Cowboys coaching staff. The report came in late last night, and blew up on Cowboys Twitter today.

“Bones” is widely regarded as the best special teams coordinator in the NFL, which makes it all the more surprising that the Rams didn’t extend his contract. Fassel’s departure comes in the midst of a huge shake-up in the Rams organization, as Defensive Coordinator Wade Phillips and Running Backs Coach Skip Peete will not be returning in 2020 either.

I’ve gotta say that it’s a bit alarming to see so many familiar faces hitting the road, even though it definitely was a disappointing 2019 season. Sean McVay is clearly trying to make some significant changes to try and get back to the Super Bowl, which they reached just last season.

The Rams special teams unit ranked 23rd in 2019…clearly not as dominant as they had been in earlier years. Fassel is also given a lot of credit for grooming both Greg Zuerlein and Johnny Hekker, who are among the best kicker/punter duos in the league. Hekker was not too happy about the news…

 

I guess McVay thinks cleaning house is the best way to bring in the SoFi Stadium era. Best of luck to “Bones” in Dallas…unless they meet the Rams in the playoffs.

 

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Power Ranking Pilot Pete’s Bachelor Contestants

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Bummed that Monday Night Football has ended? Have no fear, The Bachelor is here. Yes, I’m serious. This show rules and I am not even the slightest bit ashamed to admit it. It’s the perfect trade-off for you, too. Your wife or girlfriend just surrendered her past 15 Monday nights so you can scream at the TV because you bet the over in the Chiefs-Chargers game in Mexico City. That 7,300ft altitude oozes Philly Rivers for 4 TDs, right? Wrong. Another 4th quarter comeback thwarted by an interception. Hello under and goodbye $150.

Now it’s her turn to yell at the TV when Pilot Pete picks Jessica, the Miami Dolphins cheerleader with the god-awful ombre hair instead of Megyn, the 3rd grade teacher who just got out of a long-distance relationship with her high school sweetheart because he was cheating on her with her best friend.

 

Power Ranking of Pilot Pete’s women LET’S GO

  1. Victoria P.

Victoria P started off on a really bad note.  Actually, I take that back. Before the girls hop out of the limo to meet Pete, ABC will highlight a few of them by going to their hometown and getting footage of them. Daily activities, hanging with family, blah blah blah. Victoria P had a segment in this and we came to realize that she lost her dad at a young age and then her mom fell into a battle with drug addiction. Now, her mom is sober and a part of her life again, which is great to see. Ok, so she actually started off on a great note. Her life story really makes you want to root for her…..and then came the intro.  Her intro was asking Pete to do a “happy dance” because that’s what she does with her nieces when they’re scared/nervous. Shouts to Pete for going with the flow because I would have been weirded out by that move big time. We didn’t see too much of her during the cocktail party which is a really good sign (only the crazy girls get air-time during that). Obviously her and Pete had a solid convo because she was the first one to get a  rose during the rose ceremony. What does that mean? Probably not a whole lot, but it definitely means he likes her enough to where she’ll be around for a while. She also is deathly afraid of the spinny tea cup ride at Disneyland, but we’ll forget about that.

 

2. Kelley

Kelley was also among one of the girls that had an intro video with the camera crew at her hometown. We learn that she is an attorney working for her dad’s law firm along with like, 4 of her brothers. On top of that, she tells us that she met Peter once before while attending her friend’s wedding. They must have hit it off or something because big dog Pete was fired up to see her get out of the limo. Like Victoria P, we didn’t see a whole lot of her during the cocktail party (again, that’s a good sign) and she was the third girl to get a rose during the ceremony. On the group date, she won some lame obstacle course thing and was awarded a sunset flight with Pilot Pete at the wheel. Now it gets good and we get some real drama. After their flight, everyone headed back to the hotel for a cocktail party. Our girl Kelley committed the cardinal sin of “interrupting Pete after you’ve already had time with him”. I love when this happens. The girl just spent an hour alone with Pete and now wants to snag him from some poor girl who probably doesn’t even know his dog’s name yet. I love it. This is why I lock in every Monday at 8pm PST.  AND not only did she steal him once…she did it twice. So now the whole house pretty much hates her and we wait for one of the girls to complain to Pete that she’s a bully so he dumps her. In the end, Peter held no ill-will towards her interruptions because he gave her the group date rose.

 

3. Hannah Ann

Like the previous two girls, Hannah Ann was given a quick highlight at the beginning of the show. I’m not sure if any of you are familiar with Southern girls, but this right here is the final boss of Southern girls. Double first name? Check. 23 year old that wants to get married? Check. Low-budget model? Check.  Probably only on this show to get famous? Check. Wants to move to LA to pursue a career in acting? CHECK. Ok, I might’ve gone a bit too hard on her right there, so I’ll right the ship. She seems like a good girl, and definitely someone that I can see Pete taking all the way to the end. He lost his mind when he found out her parents had been married for 26 years (thought that was kind of a normal thing, but ok), and didn’t find it weird that Hannah Ann and her dad painted a picture for him..??? Maybe they’re actually perfect for each other. During the cocktail party, Hannah Ann stole the show, and had the first kiss with Pete (I’m sure Vegas had her at -140 to get the first kiss anyways). She interrupted a couple of the girls later on during the cocktail party which helped her spend the most time with Petey. Hannah Ann was the big winner of the night when she received the coveted first impression rose, therefore placing a giant target on her back.  

 

4. Madison

Again, Madison was a part of the group of contestants that had a camera crew do a short feature on her before she got out of the limo. I guess she leads a relatively boring life, because they really hammered down on her high school basketball career. This 4-time state champ is from Birmingham, Alabama and is 100% going to be the “virgin girl” this season. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but there’s one every season and Madison is this season’s. She got a decent chunk of camera time during the cocktail party, but didn’t raise any red flags (Crazy girls get camera time on night number one. You should know this by now). She was the second girl to receive a rose during the ceremony, so going along with my theory, she’ll be here for a few more weeks. Her and Hannah Ann are pretty much the exact same person, but if I’m Pete I would lean towards Madison. She definitely seems like the “less needy” of the two, but maybe I’m still reeling from my critique of Hannah Ann.

 

5. Sarah

This is my dark horse right here. I know nothing about this girl. Hardly even remember her from last night’s episode. But that’s good news. The girls who don’t get much attention on the first night are usually the only non-psychos. Love that outta you, Sarah. Don’t let this short paragraph fool you, this is my girl for the remainder of the season… or at least until she does something crazy during week 5 while on a date in Lima, Peru or something.

 

 

Honorable Mention:

Courtney

Courtney had a really bad entrance where she rode in on a tiny bike/plane thing. It kinda sucked, but she seems cool and also has some absolute cans…thank God this blog post is anonymous.

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Celebrities Need To Stop Making Their Acceptance Speeches Political

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It’s a tale as old as time – rich and famous celebrities using their awards show acceptance speeches to attack the government/speak out about world issues. It’s awkward, no one cares, and it drags the shows out longer than they already are. Love him or hate him, it’s hard to disagree with what Ricky Gervais said in his opening monologue last night:

“If you win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.”

FINALLY someone had the balls to say what 99% of award show watchers have been thinking. And this isn’t to say that I don’t agree/disagree with what they’re saying up there – it really doesn’t matter. I could be the most die-hard supporter of an issue, but if it gets brought up during an acceptance speech, I still get a shivering cringe down my spine…because it’s not the time and place.

  1. Most people tune out at the first utterance of politics being brought up. I was watching the Globes with a big group of people last night, from all sides of the political spectrum, and when Patricia Arquette started getting political there was a collective groan throughout the house followed by people going to the kitchen to re-fill their plates with food. No one wants to hear that stuff.
  2. For those that do listen, there is now a political debate in the middle of a nice evening. We all have that friend, uncle, cousin, etc. who LOVES to get political and trigger the rest of the group. These celebrities have no idea how many pots they’re stirring across America when they decide to go off on some political rant. Did no one raise these people to know you don’t discuss sex, religion, or politics at a party? Animals.
  3. I now just assume they’re psycho. Would you rather hang out with the person at the party that talks about a possible war in the Middle East or the person that thanks their agent and family and heads backstage? If you want to leave a lasting impression, make a joke, thank a few people, get off the stage, and go get involved in an organization that supports whatever you stand for and post about it on Instagram. And being cool onstage makes me actually want to watch whatever you won for…isn’t that the point?? I had never even heard of the show Ramy until last night, but because Ramy Youssef was so charming during his speech, I watched an episode and loved it! Am I ever going to watch whatever TV show Patricia Arquette won for? Most likely, probably, definitely not.

The only thing I should be upset about after the Golden Globes is that Taron Egerton won Best Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy over LDC and Eddie Murphy, not that we had to sit through more political rants. This is where we go to get away from the real world for a few hours on a Sunday night before the work/school grind hits us like a ton of bricks on Monday morning. You would think Gervais’s monologue would’ve gotten through to some of these people.

See below for the full monologue:

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