Adam Sandler has made some of the most popular movies of the last 25 years and is as “A-list” as a celebrity can get. His movies usually have slightly unbelievable plotlines, which is probably what makes them so popular. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a movie about a failed hockey player who becomes one of the best professional golfers, or a 30-something-year-old mentally challenged waterboy who realizes his football potential and becomes the best defensive player in the country? However, I think that because Sandler’s movies are already ridiculous to begin with, it makes it easier to believe that even as a remarkably average-looking (dare I say “goofy”) man, he somehow always has an insanely hot wife/significant other. For the sake of this article, I will also include women who Sandler’s character had sexual relations with or but based on the ending, implied that they live happily ever after.

5. Kate Beckinsale, Click (2006)

4. Emmanuelle Chriqui,You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008)

3. Salma Hayek, Grown Ups (2010)

2. Jessica Biel, I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007)

Now if I was ranking Sandler’s love interests by their hottest individual scenes in his movies, Biel would’ve won hands-down. This might even be the best scene in cinematic history. However, credit to me for putting biases aside and not letting the screenplay influence the rankings.

1. Brooklyn Decker, Just Go With It (2011)

It literally does not get better than this. And even though they did not end up together in the end, they were pretty much engaged for 95% of the movie.

Honorable Mentions:

Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Billy Madison (1995)

Goddammit Billy, the Spanish Armada was in 1588! I’ll never forgive him for getting this wrong.

Jennifer Aniston, Just Go With It (2011)

Adam Sandler really went 2/2 in this movie, sheesh.

I would LOVE to know what Jackie Sandler, Adam’s wife in real life, thinks about all the hot women he’s been able to make out with over the years in movies. Unless Sandler played a millionaire in every movie, it’s highly unlikely that he’d land any of these women in real life. I’d say the most believable of his movie wives is Salma Hayek in Grown Ups because they met when they were young, presumably when Sandler was in much better shape…plus he had game. What Sandler’s roles have done above all else is provide some hope to all the average-looking guys out there with astronomical standards. Never settle, kings. Never settle.