I just finished watching Tiger King on Netflix. I think we can all agree that it’s the most insane documentary that’s ever been made. I’m upset that I never heard about Joe Exotic before this. How did a story this big remain relatively under wraps for so long? Regardless, it’s the best money that Netflix has ever spent. First you’ve got a gay, tiger-loving Joe Dirt, then a psycho cat lady who (might have ) killed her husband, and to top it off, an elephant-riding, orgy cult leader. That’s just gold TV,  and is as entertaining as any scripted TV show out there.

In a time where we have literally nothing else to do in our free time except watch TV and movies, this series came along at the perfect time. Did Carole kill her husband? Being that Carole and Howard are willing to sue anyone who slanders her name, I’m not going to give a definitive yes or no, but the documentary absolutely led us to believe that she did.  I mean, who includes “in the event of my disappearance” in their will?? Even if she didn’t do it, you’ve gotta hand it to her for being a world-class manipulator in ever other facet of her life/business. She profits off of her animals the same way Joe did (minus the breeding), but because she labeled it a “rescue” she’s magically free of all hate. Well not anymore!! We all see through her facade now even though I’m sure the local Floridians will still give the crazy cat lady some business.

Did Joe Exotic get set up by Jeff Lowe? Absolutely. Is he a good guy? Definitely not. No one in their right mind makes that many death threats towards a person and can be considered sane, but I don’t think he actually paid Allen Glover to kill Carole. And thanks to Cardi B, Joe Exotic could be a free man sooner than later, but he’s not free of all guilt. The way he reacted to Travis’s death proves he’s not genuine and lacks common human decency, plus he definitely killed some tigers. It doesn’t mean that he should spend the next twenty years in jail, but he should always be on a government watch list. And keep him from within 1,000 feet of a school at all times while you’re at it.

The cherry on top of this whole series was the shot of James Garretson riding a Sea-Doo in the last episode. There’s just no way they could’ve made this documentary without “Eye of the Tiger” being played at some point:

🚨 BADASS ALERT 🚨 pic.twitter.com/5OUaDzjA4J

— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) March 26, 2020

And are we absolutely sure he’s not the maid Berta (Conchata Ferrell) from Two and a Half Men?

I think the best thing to come out of this documentary is everyone casting their favorite actors and actresses to play these people if they were to make a movie. Kate McKinnon is already making a limited series on the subject, so the last thing to make is a full-length movie. The only actor who would absolutely NEED to be cast is Danny McBride. Personally, I see him portraying Doc Antle, but regardless of who he gets cast as, he should be at the top of the list for any director tackling this insane story.