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‘Den of Thieves’ Is a Must-Watch Movie on Netflix, but One Thing About It Drives Me Insane

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The first thing you’ll notice about Den of Thieves is a star-studded cast that includes Gerard Butler, 50 Cent, O-Shea Jackson Jr. (Ice Cube’s son), and Pablo Schreiber, among others. I just watched this movie for the first time (shoutout quarantine) and truth be told, I’m disappointed that it took me over two years to find out that Gerard Butler and 50 Cent made an action-packed heist movie that I had never seen. Butler plays “Big Nick” O’Brien, head of LASD’s major crimes unit aka the Regulators, who operate pretty much under their own guidelines.

Do we look like the types who will arrest you? Put you in handcuffs, drag you down to the station? We just shoot you, it’s less paperwork. – O’Brien

Meanwhile, 50 Cent is in a bank-robbing crew made up of ex-marines in the Los Angeles area. The squad is headed by Ray Merriman (Pablo Schreiber), who just recently got out of jail for doing the exact same thing. Rounding out the rest of the crew is Donnie Wilson (O’Shea Jackson Jr.), Bosco (Evan Jones), and Marcus (Marcus LaVoi). They use the tactical skills they developed in the marines to methodically plan and execute heists all around the southland. We see just how ruthless this crew is in the very first scene of the movie where they kill several cops and guards over an armored truck. It’s clear from that point forward that many, many, many, many, men wish death upon 50 Cent and the rest of his crew. If you want to read the full summary of the movie click here, because this blog isn’t necessarily about the plot.

Like any movie, Den of Thieves isn’t free of flaws, but one thing that drove me insane was that it clearly wasn’t filmed in the greater Los Angeles area, where it’s set. First off, LA is the capital of the TV and movie industry…why would a movie set to take place here need to be filmed elsewhere? I realize that a ton of movies aren’t filmed on location, but the audience isn’t supposed to know the difference! The magic of Hollywood is that they fool us into thinking that every movie is shot wherever they tell us it takes place. For example, a ton of movies set in the Middle East are actually shot in the California or Arizona desert because it looks virtually identical to those in the Middle East. Therefore my issue is not that they didn’t film this movie in LA, it’s that they did absolutely nothing to hide it. Apparently whoever funded Den of Thieves thought no one from Los Angeles would watch the movie because it’s blatantly obvious that they’re not in Southern California.

The biggest slap in the face to people from the LA area was the bank robbery scene that was supposed to take place in Montebello, which is basically centrally located in the LA basin – nothing but foothills in close proximity.

See any mountains within ten miles? Twenty? Thirty? No. So how the fuck am I supposed to believe this was shot anywhere near Montebello?

Via Netflix

And see that white stuff at the top there? Yeah, that’s snow…in Southern California. Don’t get me wrong, it definitely snows out here, but nowhere near Montebello or the surrounding cities. Another dead giveaway that this isn’t LA are all the trees in every shot from this point in the movie on; I hate to say it but this city lacks nature. Also, I’d be willing to bet good money that you couldn’t find me a single street in Southern California where the traffic lights hang on a wire like this:

Our lights look like this:

Even Barstow uses metal poles to mount traffic lights for Christ’s sake! I realize that I’m nitpicking, but it’s the little shit like this that makes or breaks a movie for me. It didn’t occur to me how much we as viewers value setting until last night when I realized it’s everything.

If you think I’m being over-dramatic, imagine you were watching a movie supposed to be set in London, but there were palm trees and Spanish style homes in every scene filmed outdoors. If you’re like me, you’d constantly be wondering how palm trees could sustain life in a maritime climate when everyone knows they thrive best in a Mediterranean climate. Okay, maybe you’re not into geography as much as I am, but you know that would irritate you.

While the whole filming location thing didn’t ruin the entire movie for me, it was one of those things that I can’t unsee. In other words, the rewatchability aspect has been damaged because it’ll be the main thing I focus on every time I watch it from now on. I just need more information as to why a movie starring Gerard Butler and 50 Cent couldn’t afford to be shot in LA. It blows my mind that with the nonstop gunfights and car chases, the point in the budget where they drew the line was the filming location.

Overall score: 7.1

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Music

Noel Gallagher Releases Oasis Demo “Don’t Stop” to Get You Through Quarantine

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Maybe it’s the fact that there are so few real rock bands around anymore, or maybe because I’ve been obsessed with Oasis as of late, but “Don’t Stop”, a hidden gem discovered by Noel Gallagher yesterday, lived up to the hype. According to Gallagher (the band’s lead songwriter, guitarist, and co-lead singer), the song was recorded in Hong Kong during a soundcheck around 15 years ago.

Oasis released a ton of great music back in the day, but it’s still surprising to me that “Don’t Stop” didn’t make the cut on any albums. However, it’s almost better that it was released now because it’s the perfect song to give us some optimism about the situation we’re currently in.

“Don’t stop being happy, Don’t stop your clapping, Don’t stop your laughing, Take a piece of life, it’s alright”.

I’m sure these lyrics are in reference to a lost love, but the great thing about music is that you can interpret the lyrics any way you want! I’m sure I can speak for the entire quarantined world in saying that the days have grown monotonous, and we’re just counting the days before life goes back to normal. Similarly, there’s not a whole lot to be optimistic about right now. Sure, it looks like sports will make a comeback in a few months, but nothing significant is changing in the immediate future. Having said that, the lyrics in “Don’t Stop” should be uplifting to those that have grown tired and annoyed about the situation we’re in.

For those of you who are relatively unfamiliar with Oasis’s work aside from “Wonderwall” and “Champagne Supernova”, let it be known that they’re a top 3 band of the last thirty years. Their first two albums Definitely Maybe and (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? are two of my favorite albums ever, even though I just recently listened to them both in full. My obsession with Oasis started a little over a month ago when I stumbled across their Netflix documentary, Supersonic. I had always heard that there was friction in the band, but the doc fully immersed you in the chaos. My biggest takeaway from the film was how surprised I was that they stayed together as long as they did. Noel and Liam Gallagher fought (what seemed like) 24/7, so the fact that they were able to make eight albums together seems like an impossibility.

Oasis is also apart of a dying breed – the rockstar. They trashed hotel rooms, had drug addictions, and didn’t give a fuck what people thought about it. I’m in no way condoning that type of behavior for the average person to mimic, but let’s be honest…when rockstars do it, it’s badass. Today’s music mostly consists of pop and hip-hop artists, which is fine, but I sincerely miss good old fashioned rock bands like Oasis. If Liam can somehow smooth things over with Noel and get the band back together, I’d be first in line for concert tickets.

Since you’re already here, these are the Oasis songs you need to hear before you die (in no particular order):

  • “Live Forever”, Definitely Maybe
  • “Supersonic”, Definitely Maybe
  • “Rock ‘n’ Roll Star”, Definitely Maybe
  • “Wonderwall”, (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
  • “Don’t Look Back In Anger”, (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
  • “Morning Glory”, (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
  • “Some Might Say”, (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
  • “Champagne Supernova”, (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
  • “Fade Away”, The Masterplan
  • “Stop Crying Your Heart Out”, Heathen Chemistry
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Sports

The Dodgers Are Still in a Prime Position to Win Their Division, Despite Proposed League Realignment & Shortened Season

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Here’s the gist of the story via Bob Nightengale of USA Today:

Major League Baseball officials have become cautiously optimistic this week that the season will start in late June, and no later than July 2, playing at least 100 regular-season games, according to three executives with knowledge of the talks.

MLB is considering a three-division, 10-team plan in which teams play only within their division – a concept gaining support among owners and executives. It would abolish the traditional American and National Leagues, and realign the divisions based on geography.

Here’s a look at the possible realignment structure:

EAST

  • New York Yankees and Mets, Boston Red Sox, Washington Nationals, Baltimore Orioles, Philadelphia Phillies, Pittsburgh Pirates, Toronto Blue Jays, Tampa Bay Rays, Miami Marlins

WEST

  • Los Angeles Dodgers and Angels, San Francisco Giants, Oakland Athletics, San Diego Padres, Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, Texas Rangers, Houston Astros, Seattle Mariners

CENTRAL

  • Chicago Cubs and Chicago White Sox, Milwaukee Brewers, St. Louis Cardinals, Kansas City Royals, Cincinnati Reds, Cleveland Indians, Minnesota Twins, Atlanta Braves, Detroit Tigers

LET’S FUCKING GOOOO. Barring a dramatic spike in COVID-19 cases in the next couple of months, we are getting Major League Baseball in 2020. And the best part? The Dodgers are still in a prime position to win their “division”…it’s a good thing both the NL and AL West are relatively weak. Don’t get me wrong…the Angels, with the addition of Rendon and a healthy Ohtani will be far more imposing than they were last season, and as much as I hate to admit it, the Astros are very good. Ultimately, it’ll make for some interesting matchups that we never would’ve seen had the season commenced as usual. Of course, I’d rather we not be in the middle of a pandemic right now, but to make light of the circumstances, it will (hopefully) give us an entertaining MLB season.

And do I care that games will more than likely be played in front of no fans? Absolutely not. Let’s be honest…baseball isn’t a sport that feeds off of a crowd the way football and basketball do. Playing in front of hardly any fans is common in college and even the minor leagues, so it might even be nostalgic for some of these guys. It’ll take them back to the days where they had to skip Intro to Finance to play a midweek game in front of twelve people, most of whom were parents plus the random superfan. And for the guys who didn’t go to college, do you think there were ever any fans at their 1 pm games in small-town Iowa or wherever else they played rookie ball? Nah. Won’t be a problem.

Nightengale snuck in a line about how if all things go according to plan and we get the virus under control, we could see “several thousand fans in attendance before or during the playoffs”. If there’s any chance they let fans into games this season, the only game I would need to attend this season to die happy would be the Astros at Dodger Stadium. Hell, I’ll even go to and Angels game if it means I can heckle the shit out of the Astros the entire game.

Things are changing every day in America because of COVID-19, so I’m trying not to get ahead of myself, but I can’t help but feel optimistic that this report will come to fruition. With so many MLB officials and even Scott Boras so confident that baseball will return, it’s bound to happen. And with baseball set to return, I’m even softening on my stance that the NBA won’t continue this year. Things are definitely looking up in the sports world, and especially for Los Angeles’ teams. Now if everyone could just stay the fuck home until public health officials deem it safe to return to life as normal, it would help expedite this process entirely!

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Sports

The Red Sox Technically Cheated the Dodgers out of a World Series

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It’s official: the Dodgers lost back to back World Series against CHEATERS. While there wasn’t sufficient evidence to conclude that the Red Sox cheated in the playoffs, but only during the regular season, they’re cheaters nonetheless. As good as the Sox were in 2018, maybe things go differently in the regular season had they not cheated…dare I say the Yankees could’ve won the AL East??

The fact that some video room guy got blamed for this whole thing is laughable. It’s not a coincidence that Alex Cora was cheating in Houston and the Red Sox just so happened to get caught for cheating the very next season. Don’t forget that the Sox were also busted for using Apple Watches to cheat in 2017 as well. They clearly have no respect for the game of baseball and spit in the face of order. I think the only thing keeping the Sox from being the Astros is that a whistleblower hasn’t come forward to expose them for the scumbags they are.

Ultimately, there’s really nothing more the League could’ve done here punishment-wise, but just like with the Astros, the league comes out losers here. The big winner is Alex Cora, who will probably end up not serving a single day of his suspension and will more than likely have a job in 2021.

The sad part is…I’m so desperate for baseball to come back that I’d be willing to absolve the Red Sox of any penalties if it meant we got the 2020 MLB season in return. It’s “fuck the Astros” till the day I die, but the Red Sox penalties are so weak anyway that I think it’s a fair trade. And just like 2017 and 2018, coronavirus is cheating the Dodgers out of another World Series win in 2020.

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Sports

Clayton Kershaw Has Been a Stud Since His MLB Debut

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MLB Network played a rerun of Clayton Kershaw’s MLB debut tonight, and I’m both thankful and depressed because of it. I’m thankful because since it was a Thursday day game back in 2008, I was probably busy dominating a game of kickball or handball during lunch break at the time and wasn’t able to watch the game. After watching it, I’ve realized how much baseball has changed in twelve years. I think the biggest difference is how much more athletic the average baseball player is now compared to then. The main culprit for this change is that players need to be a lot more versatile now because rosters are extremely pitcher-heavy. But as much as I enjoy spotting the differences in today’s game compared to then, the reason I watched this game was because of Clayton Kershaw.

Twenty years old and only two years removed from playing against slapdick high schoolers, he was facing Albert Pujols. His final line of the night was: 6 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, and 7 K’s…not bad for a seasoned vet, let alone a guy making his debut. We should’ve known he was destined for greatness after striking out the side in his first inning of work as a big leaguer. He’s still one of the best pitchers in the game, but it was clear after watching his debut, how much sharper he was back then. While his fastball hovers around 90 mph nowadays, he threw an easy 95 when he was younger. Similarly, his curveball used to absolutely FALL off the table, while now it’s not as sharp – understandably so (it would be ridiculous if his curve was as sharp at 32 as it was at 20 years old). Seeing Andre Ethier, Matt Kemp, and Russell Martin as young bucks also brought back a ton of nostalgia.

As great as it was seeing Kershaw and the other guys in their early MLB careers, as I said earlier, I am now depressed. I’ve been avoiding these throwback games for this very reason…it makes me very sad that there is no baseball or sports of any kind. The Dodgers (and Lakers) should be on their way to championships this season, but it’s not looking like either team will be able to compete for a title in 2020. While watching the game, I also got pissed me off because I realized how good the Dodgers have been for so long, and that players so deserving of a World Series title like Kershaw and Ethier were cheated out of a one by the Astros. That’s just something I will never get over, regardless of how many years have gone by or however many apologies I hear. Regardless, Kershaw is still my hero, and it’s debatable if I will ever be able to love something as much as I love the Dodgers (besides my parents and possibly my children). It’s safe to say I will be avoiding any sentimental games for the rest of the quarantine.

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Sports

Los Angeles Times Reports City Could Cancel All Sporting Events and Concerts Until 2021

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Via LA Times:

Los Angeles may hold off on allowing big gatherings until 2021 because of the coronavirus threat, according to an internal Los Angeles Fire Department email reviewed by The Times.

Mayor Eric Garcetti raised the issue during his weekly briefing Monday with a group of high-level staff from several departments, including Fire Chief Ralph Terrazas. Garcetti indicated during the conference call that “large gatherings such as concerts and sporting events may not be approved in the city for at least 1 year,” according to the email.

…

Garcetti also talked during the conference call with his staff about reopening the economy, starting with “essential businesses and small businesses … phased in over a period of time (6-10 months),” according to Richmond’s email.

California Gov. Gavin Newsom said Tuesday that events that draw hundreds or thousands of strangers will be off limits for the near future, based on current guidelines.

As someone who was really looking forward to seeing the Eagles in concert and the Dodgers and Lakers bringing titles back to LA this year, this is another major blow. Although, at this point, nothing surprises me anymore. I’ve accepted the fact that it’s a long shot any sporting events or concerts are held before 2021 due to how rapidly COVID-19 can spread.

The LA Times article didn’t mention whether or not teams would be able to play in empty stadiums/arenas, but any gatherings with hundreds or thousands of people are out of the question. Aside from the health risks, I’m curious to know what the public perception will be after the government declares it’s okay to return to our normal routine. Honestly, I’ll probably avoid large gatherings until I get vaccinated because it’s not like the virus magically goes away as soon as the government lifts the quarantine order.

I know most people think they’re invincible but I’ve seen enough healthy young people hospitalized by COVID-19 to know that it’ll be dangerous for a while. Especially for a city like L.A., where there’s a plethora of concerts and sporting events on a daily basis it’s probably best to keep everything closed until we’re sure everything’s safe. People come from all over the country and world to visit L.A., which only heightens the chances of someone spreading the virus…all it takes is one. Until then, for the love of god, keep Don Henley, Joe Walsh and Timothy B. Schmit safe at all costs.

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T.V.

Malibu Paddle Boarder Arrested for Breaking Governor’s ‘Stay at Home’ Order

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SUP ATX or Tower or some paddle board company needs to use this video as a commercial. The pitch is simple: “Even with the risk of going to jail over breaking the governor’s stay at home order, paddle boarding is so worth it”. It also shows how crazy people are going since we have to stay cooped up in our homes all day. Was half an hour of paddle boarding worth the potential of six months in jail or a $1,000 fine? Not to the sane mind. But this is quarantine brain we’re dealing with.

This guy probably eat, sleeps, and breathes paddle boarding. You expect him to derail from his everyday routine at the drop of a hat? Haven’t you ever woken up from a nap thinking it’s the next day, but it’s really only been 45 minutes since you fell asleep? I think that’s what we’ve got going on here. The guy woke up thinking it was a typical April day and forgot all about the quarantine for the first time in weeks. He got down to the beach and saw how empty it was and became fixated on the ocean like a siren was seducing him. The more likely reality is that he just wanted to go viral…but I prefer the latter version. Regardless, this SUP pursuit was the most thrilling thing I’ve seen in weeks and is just a reminder of how badly we need this quarantine to be over (when it’s safe).

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Sports

The NBA Playoffs Could Be Held in Las Vegas & Have a New Format

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Via SI.com:

A return to the NBA’s Summer League home appears to be an increasingly popular idea as we enter the fourth week of the COVID-19 suspension, according to Sports Illustrated‘s Chris Mannix. The entire postseason could take place in Las Vegas, creating a sort of mass quarantine as 16 teams battle for the Larry O’Brien Trophy. The idea may seem outlandish, but in a crisis, the NBA has no choice but to get creative.

Ummm yes please?? In a world were Big Cat’s “Cat Cave Derby” is the closest thing we have to live sports, I am dying for the NBA to return. And if the idea of every team playing in one location sounds ridiculous to you, I’m assuming you don’t watch college sports? NCAA basketball conference tournaments and the College World Series are held in one location and no one complains about that do they?

We’re already living in unchartered territory, so why not make things even weirder and host the entire playoffs in Vegas. No one will have home court advantage, so that’s one issue that’ll be automatically eliminated. Plus, if your concern is the health of the players, isolating everyone in a single location is the best thing to avoid “contamination”.

However, the most interesting part of this article is towards the end:

There could also be format changes to the playoffs along with an altered location, per CNBC’s Jabari Young. The first round and the NBA Finals could be best-of-five series’, and the middle two rounds could become a single-game elimination matchup.

Now THAT is a change I was not expecting. Do I think this format actually gets utilized in the playoffs? No. Do I think there’s a sliver of a chance it does because the world is already losing its mind? Yes. I don’t understand why you’d play two single-elimination games after a best-of-five series. I think if their goal is to shorten the playoffs, a best-of-three, best-of-three, best-of-five, best-of-five format is the shortest you can go. Unless they would consider a March Madness-esque single-elimination tournament. However, that format would taint the eventual champion’s title forever because no other season has been decided that way. That’s why I think the only format that wouldn’t forever taint the season would be the 3, 3, 5, 5 format.

Regardless of what the NBA decides, I’d like basketball back as soon as the public health concern is at a manageable level. Ticket sales would obviously be nonexistent, but at least they’d be able to charge for advertising and give the country something to get behind. I think we need it more than ever right now.

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