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“The Bachelor” Recap: Pete Messes Up— For the Last Time.

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The episode starts with Madison basically giving Pete an ultimatum. She exclaims that if Pete has sex with either Victoria F or Hannah Ann, Madison can no longer go on with their relationship. Guess what happens next!

Hannah Ann gets the first date/night, and Victoria gets the second date/night, leaving Madison all the time in the world to sweat over whether Pete is sleeping with these girls or not. Finally, during Madison’s date, she gets him to admit that he’s been intimate SHOCKER. He doesn’t make it clear as to which girl/girls but definitely Victoria F, that’s the only reason that psycho is still around. This news sparks a crying competition between Pete and Madison, where Madison eventually ends up leaving the date.

The way I see it there are 2 ways to look at this ultimatum:

1: The “She should know what she’s getting into.” take.

This take holds water. Everyone knows what goes on during fantasy suites, if you don’t like it, don’t come on the show. These women have to understand that this is nothing like the real world, and that this is a dumb show where the guy gets to date multiple women at the same time, no hard feelings, right?

2: The “Logical, True Love” take.

Here’s where I get fired up. This is the stuff that grinds my gears. Do I understand this is a show and that it’s all bs anyway? Yes. BUT IF THE GIRL YOU LOVE TELLS YOU NOT TO HAVE SEX FOR 2 NIGHTS, THEN GUESS WHAT??? YOU DONT HAVE SEX FOR 2 NIGHTS!!! Its that plain and fucking simple. Madison explained that she doesn’t want her fiancé having sex with other women 5-6 days before he gets down on 1 knee. AND THAT MAKES SO MUCH GODDAMN SENSE.

If it were true love, Pete would have said “no problem, you got it.” She literally explains that “this is what she expects out of a husband”!!! The fact that he can’t go 2 nights without sex is laugh out loud funny. Like imagine all the women Pilot Pete has been with, do you think he really needed 2 more notches in his belt? NO! This is just absurd to argue any other way. Madison should have gotten up and left as soon as she saw he didn’t like the idea. What a goddamn joke.

People are flipping out over this take too. Like yes, I think she knew what she was getting into. But it’s not like this ultimatum was given early in the show?? Like it’s crunch time and the guy she fell in love with, who should feel the same way, and said he feels the same way, shouldn’t feel the need to fuck other girls at this point. Don’t give me that “I’m in love with 3 women” shit, Peter you fucking idiot. Its been Madison the whole time, and I really hope she doesn’t come back because you’re an idiot.

Also! If you think he doesn’t know who he is picking yet, you’re out of your mind. So the fact that he chose sex over Madison is absolutely mind boggling. I hope she sees that and is smart enough to tell Peter to fuck right off.

The episode ends with Madison walking out of their date, and I really hope she doesn’t come back. The coming attractions show the 2 girls asking where Madison is, Peter hyperventilating that he made the wrong choice (shocker!), and his mom crying telling him to “go get her”.

At this point, after all the fuck-ups and garbage decision making, Peter is 100% still single today. Guy is an absolute joke.

Pecks

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The Bachelor: Final Four Predictions

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This is it baby, the final four. One of the most drama filled bachelor seasons is finally coming to an end, and good thing too because I started genuinely feeling bad for Peter, and I know that sounds crazy.

LIkE wHY wOUlD yOu fEEl bAD For a GuY wHo GEts to DaTe 30 giRlS aT onCE?? (That took way to long to type btw). But I feel bad because these girls SUCK. In a day and age where the world revolves around social media more than ever, these chicks just want their screen time and to grow their personal brand as much as possible. Most of them go out of the way to be catty, cause drama, and make a name for themselves. Usually on the Bachelor, there’s a few of those characters, but this season was absurd!

It seemed like every time Peter would get close to someone, he would end up looking like this. That’s because:

  • They wouldn’t reciprocate the same feelings. (Kelley)
  • They’d lie about another girl. (Victoria P)
  • Another girl would burn them. (Alayah)
  • The producers would play games. (Victoria F concert incident, Hannah B, Kelsey champagne incident)
  • They’d lie about themselves. (Sydney allegedly)
  • Cause general drama (Mykenna, Tammy)

So yeah, nothing has been easy for this guy at all, and he does seem genuine. Definitely one of the softer more in-touch-with-his-emotions type, not a douche or a big player (yeah he makes out but you get what I mean). So I do sympathize with him because it seems like he actually is looking for love.

Anyway, enough nonsense, here are my rankings and predictions moving forward.

4: Kelsey

I put Kelsey in the 4 hole because in my eyes, she never recovered from the champagne incident. She seems like she’s a bit crazy, definitely has those crazy eyes. Idk, I’ve been waiting for her to get the boot for weeks, I’m honestly surprised she’s been here this long. She does seem obsessed with Peter which I appreciate, however, her attitude towards the other girls and her being on the brink of tears 90% of the time is a real bummer for me. Not a Kelsey stan, she isn’t the one, if you think she is, you haven’t been paying attention.

These scores are in relativity to the remaining girls.

*not all intangibles are intangible*

  • Personality: 4/10
  • Love for Peter: 9/10
  • Looks: 6/10
  • Psycho: Yes
  • Intangibles: cares about her alcohol, Adderall plug, & on the pill.

3: Victoria F.

I am/was a BIG Victoria fan, and have been since day 1. There have been some reports that she’s not the greatest person, including some home-wrecking claims. But hey, people make mistakes and she’s seemed nice on the show so what I don’t know for sure, won’t hurt me. The crying every episode was annoying but IMO she was one of the better looking girls, and didn’t cause too much drama (until late).

Victoria was one of my favorites to win for a while, but after seeing some coming attractions, she has me feeling differently. It’s been very clear that while Peter is deep under her spell, she is very manipulative and just flat out has an attitude. Like the second one on one was just flat out annoying on her part. Makes you start to think about those allegations… Anyway, Victoria’s downfall will be her tears, lack of opening up to Peter, and potentially, her shady past. I’d be shocked if she wins.

  • Personality: 5/10
  • Love for Peter: 5/10
  • Looks: 9/10
  • Psycho: 100%
  • Intangibles: some cool celebrities in her contact list. (If you know what I mean)

2: Hannah Ann

Hannah Ann while taking the world by storm with her beauty, has low key flown under the radar since the start. That is a VERY good thing. Hannah has been low maintenance, low drama, all show and seems somewhat regular. To me she feels like she came on the show for the wrong reasons and now that she’s here actually might have feelings for Peter/ maybe she can’t bring herself to be super dramatic like the other girls?? I’m not sure, but I’m not totally sold on her like giving a shit ya know?

She’s debatably the prettiest girl on the show, and definitely think she’ll make an appearance on the Bachelorette if she’s not selected. I would not be surprised at all if she wins however, I just don’t have a gut feeling about her.

  • Personality: 7/10
  • Love for Peter: 6/10
  • Looks: 10/10 (if my gfs reading this its in relativity to the other girls, relax)
  • Psycho: maybe, don’t think so.
  • Intangibles: super photogenic for all the “check my wife out” moments. Her name would make it easy for Peter to date Hannah B simultaneously.

1: Madison

From the first episode, till right now, Madison has been the front runner. She’s kind, has spunk, is soft on the eyes, and doesn’t seem nuts. Peter and her have great chemistry, and she seems just as into him as he is of her.

Has she not had any serious relationships? No. Is she a bit young? Yes. Has she ever had sex? Apparently not. (I think that’s a pro right?) But so what, these two look good together, get along well, and she seems pretty low maintenance compared to the rest of the crew. I think If Peter decides to propose to any of these girls, it will be Madison.

  • Personality: 9/10
  • Love for Peter: 9/10
  • Looks: 9/10
  • Psycho: Nah
  • Intangibles: full access to Auburn’s athletic facilities, definitely someone you can shoot hoops with, guaranteed DI children.

This is very obviously a two pony race. I don’t think Kelsey or Victoria stand a chance. Also, thanks to the coming attractions, I don’t think Peter will end up proposing to any of them. And if THAT is the case… I will have some strong words for production, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

Pecks

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Substance Abuse and Lies – All in Week 5 of ‘The Bachelor’

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First, I want to address the biggest drama that came at the tail-end of this three-hour gem. I think we can all agree at this point that Tammy is the most sneaky and conniving contestant on this season of The Bachelor…and Petey Boy still gave her a rose! I’ve never been able to wrap my head around when these girls use their precious one-on-one time with him to talk about other girls. Because of the way the show is edited, it’s easy to forget how little time these girls are actually spending alone with him. The girls that don’t get one-on-one dates are seeing him once every 2-4 days (especially if they’re traveling), and get to spend maybe 10-15 minutes tops with him before the classic “can I steal you for a sec?”; then their alone time with him is up for the next couple days.

For Tammy and all the girls that love to gossip to the bachelor about the other girls, it’s clear they aren’t there for the right reasons. Do you understand that these girls literally have no forms of entertainment? No TV, no phones, so yeah, I’d probably get drunk a lot too. Obviously, Kelsey coupled her alcohol with an impressive amount of crying, but to tell Peter she has a drinking problem?? I mean, it’s hilarious for the viewers, but sooo not cool or fair to Kelsey. And I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not a fan of Kelsey; she’s way too emotional for this experience – if you told me she’d still be here after champagnegate I would’ve thought you were yanking my chain. Regardless, it’s clear that Tammy crossed a line, so I’m on Kelsey’s side here.

I also think it’s crazy that Victoria P. snaked her way out of another confrontation. After last week when she just started crying as a defense when Peter confronted her about the whole Alayah situation, I can’t believe she found her way out of this one. Apparently, she was the one who told Tammy she thought Kelsey was popping pills (it was birth control and Adderall), but because everyone was so mad at Tammy, Victoria P. basically escaped unscathed once again. I hope Pete catches on to her eventually, because she is 100% a snake. Can’t trust those pageant girls, man.

We also had two one-on-one dates this episode. The first was with Sydney, who has definitely caught Peter’s eye of late. Really nothing wild came out of this date except for Pete claiming Sydney is the best kisser on the show, and that she had no friends in high school and had to eat lunch in the bathroom her whole senior year. And as I am writing this blog, this I come across this:

So now I don’t know what to think about her. But obviously she’s a liar, which sucks because Peter actually likes her, and she’s made a great impression up to this point. I didn’t really see her winning this thing, but I was definitely rooting for her to make it far. Now I just hope she gets kicked off ASAP. It’s crazy to me that she thought she could say that and think no one would find her yearbook and prove her wrong.  This is just a reminder that you need to have a squeaky-clean record to be on any show nowadays, and the internet can dig up just about everything about you.

The second one-on-one was with Kelley. The attorney from Chicago. Seemingly, the most normal girl on the show. On paper she should’ve been my front-runner from the beginning. But, I’ve gotta admit that that shit she pulled in the obstacle course back in episode one rubbed me the wrong way. Can you trust a girl that doesn’t respect the set boundaries of a game? You could say “well, she did what she had to do to win and go on a solo date with Peter”. And I can respect that argument. But where does it stop? I’m sure when the Astros started cheating it was a simple arrangement. But it developed into a complex system with a live video feed, trash cans and buzzers (allegedly) to help them steal a World Series championship away from the Dodgers. I’m just saying…it’s the little things you’ve gotta pay attention to. HOWEVER, Kelley really impressed and surprised me this episode. Her normalness really came through in the dinner portion of the date because she addressed all her reservations about this experience and was completely transparent with Peter about them. While Kelley might not have been at the top of Peter’s list before, because she said she is going to be more open with him from here on, I think she is on her way up.

And I want to personally congratulate Pete for finally getting rid of Alayah. We all knew her second stint on the show would be short lived, but he should be thankful he got rid of her when he did. I think several girls might’ve left the show if he continued to allow her to stay on. Either that or they would’ve put rat traps on the floor next to Alayah’s bed. It was a terrible situation for the both of them TBH, and Pete definitely made the right call. Like I said…you can’t trust those pageant girls, man. I think her and Luke P. from the last season of The Bachelorette should grab a cup of coffee.

Stay tuned for a special Wednesday’s episode! Hopefully his cut heals a little bit more by then.

Power Rankings (of who I think will win) Through Week 5 (Monday):

  1. Madison
  2. Kelley
  3. Victoria F.
  4. Hannah Ann
  5. Victoria P.
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