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So here I am watching the PAC-12 Championship Game between USC and Oregon, when an opinion I’ve held for years pops back up in my head: Why is USC pretty much irrelevant not only in college football, but basically every other major sport (football, basketball, baseball)? The football team is 5-0 and ranked 13th in the nation, but as I’m sitting here typing, they’re down by seven points to a 3-2 (unranked) Oregon team. I understand that anything can happen in a winner-take-all setting, but there’s no reason this game should even be close. But look, I’m not here to breakdown a single football game…it’s just baffling to me that they’re not a national championship contender every year in the major sports, when it should be so easy to recruit there.

If you’re unaware, USC was under NCAA sanctions for a few years (2010-2014) because of cheating within their football and basketball programs. But it’s not 2015. If it were, I’d cut them some slack for being fresh off of sanctions in which their football program lost 30 scholarships over a three-year span, and were banned from the postseason for two years. But, it’s 2020, and they’ve had plenty of time to recover.

And don’t think that I’m just piling on USC here. UCLA, although not as historically good at football as USC, should be, and I’ve never really understood why they’re not. Of the two schools, UCLA’s baseball team is the only national championship contender of the bunch (of the 3 major sports), but we all know baseball pails in comparison when compared to the attention and money football and basketball bring in. Which brings me to the real point of this article: how could it be so hard to recruit legit football and basketball players to USC and UCLA??

Like most things, it starts with the people in charge. It’s hard to win games with bad coaches, and based on the fact that USC and UCLA’s football and basketball teams haven’t been good in years (aside from Lonzo Ball’s one year at UCLA), the coaches aren’t living up to my standards. The real issue is that good coaches are so hard to find, and most of the good ones are locked down at SEC and ACC schools.

My final point is that USC and UCLA are two of the top 5 of the easiest schools to recruit to in the country. Here’s a little rundown on what makes both of these schools great options (from a male’s perspective):

  • Beautiful women everywhere
  • Located in Los Angeles (good chance Drake will go to games, close to beach, great weather, tourist destination)
  • Fantastic academic schools to hold degrees from
  • Actually a nice city to live in if you decide to stay after graduation.
  • Tinder game is strongest of any city I’ve been to in the U.S.
  • Literally down the street from famous shit (Rodeo Drive/Beverly Hills, L.A. Live, Hollywood Sign, Spearmint Rhino, Santa Monica Pier, and the list goes on…)

It was actually kinda hard to narrow down the above list to just a few things because there is so much shit to do in LA…especially for a college kid. I know athletes have a lot less free time to do things, but they still have time, trust me. They still have to be kids once in a while, and even if they don’t want to venture too far off campus, the frats and sororities aren’t too shabby either. Seriously, how in the fuck are schools in rural Alabama, South Carolina, Oklahoma, etc. able to steal Southern California’s top talent away from Los Angeles schools? Actually, that was a rhetorical question because we already know the answer. Like I said earlier, it’s the coaches. Schools in those other states I just mentioned have great programs that have been built by fantastic head coaches. The unfortunate reality is that the only way USC or UCLA will ever be relevant again is to either steal one of the big time coaches away from his/her school, or find a protege everyone else is sleeping on. Until then, the greater LA area will keep losing the local kids to Bama and Clemson. Take me back to the Reggie Bush and Pete Carroll era please.

I have always thought that gymnasts are the most athletic people in the world. Sure, football and basketball players might be able to jump higher and run faster, but I am almost certain that Saquon Barkley and LeBron James couldn’t nail an Arabian Double Front. And to be honest, gymnastics is up there with swimming and track & field for hands down the best events in the Olympics – but that’s a discussion for another day. However, it wasn’t until I saw this viral video of UCLA gymnast Nia Dennis that I realized justhow electric a gymnastics competition really is.

First of all, if you add “PERIODT” to any video, I’m automatically forced to watch it…those are just the rules. Then I see it’s a UCLA gymnast, which reminds me of Katelyn Ohashi who went viral last year for scoring a perfect 10.0 in competition. After making that connection I knew I was in for a wild ride since it seems like UCLA is a national powerhouse; after conducting some more research I learned that they’ve won seven national championships, further confirming my suspicion. Now that we have a little background, let’s explore why this routine is so lit.

The Music

There’s a reason everyone listens to music when they workout. Simply put, it gets the people going. The most fun sporting events are those that play music in the arena/stadium (basketball, football, hockey, gymnastics). And I mean contemporary music. I am a diehard baseball fan and I would go to every Dodgers game if I could, but they’d be a hell of a lot more fun if they replaced the organ with Young Thug. Now I realize the music is there for the gymnast’s routine and timing, but it definitely gets the crowd more involved and hypes up the athlete as well. Name a time when Crazy in Love by Beyoncé didn’t make you want to get your ass up and dance. You can’t.

The Stunts

Why has hurdling become so popular in the NFL? Why is a windmill dunk the easiest way to get the bench guys to wave their towels around in excitement? People love seeing athletes fly through the air. Enter gymnastics. And I’m not even going to pretend I know the names of the moves Nia Dennis was able to pull off in her routine. All I know is that when I see someone land a double (could’ve been triple) back flip and immediately bounce into a jumping push-up, I won’t be able to look away until the video ends. And the dancing in between the flips is world-class too! She couldn’t just do flips for a minute and a half – that would be insane and nearly impossible. So the dancing provides a nice segue for her to add some pageantry to the routine, interact with/pump up the crowd, and recharge for the next big series of flips.

Teammates Hyping Her Up

One of the most noticeable parts of Dennis’s routine isn’t even about what she’s doing on the floor. It’s her teammates hyping her up on the sidelines. This is commonplace in sports like baseball and softball, but gymnastics takes it to another level. Coupled with the music, I’m sure there’s no better feeling than the people you’ve put in blood, sweat, and tears with all year cheering you on while you’re killing it on the floor. And unlike baseball and softball where your teammates are in the dugout 30+ feet away from you, these ladies are able to get right next to you and cheer/dance/sing. Just an electric environment all around. I literally got goosebumps when they shouted (and I could be way off here) “WOGY WOGY WOGY WOGY”. By that point Dennis was in the zone and she was going to nail the rest of that routine if it was the last thing she did.

The worst part of all this is that the judges gave her a 9.975. If I know one thing about gymnastics, it’s that that routine was a perfect 10. I’ve never been surer about something in my life. Obviously 9.975 is still an impeccable score, but a 10 would’ve added an even bigger exclamation point to the end of that routine. But if I know anything about Nia Dennis (I don’t really) it’s that she’s going to continue to bring that same intensity to every routine and will eventually (if she hasn’t already) get that 10.

So, I am officially declaring myself, as a Los Angeles native, a die-hard UCLA gymnastics fan. Being that the University of Spoiled Children doesn’t have a team (probably because they know they couldn’t compete with MY Bruins) and I am faithful to LA, these are my girls. Even though the no. 3 ranked Bruins ended up falling to the University of Utah in a narrow 198.025 – 198.075 loss, I know that they’ll bounce back and make a deep run in the PAC-12 and NCAA Championships. Oregon State should be shaking in their boots over having to face Nia Dennis and the rest of this UCLA team tomorrow. We’re coming for you, Beavers.

Via UCLA Athletics