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2020 MLB Season Should Be Held at Arizona Spring Training Ballparks

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At this point, I think this is the only way we get a 2019 MLB season. I was like most of you…I thought this would all blow over by the summer, but as things seem to only be getting worse, I’m growing less and less optimistic. President Trump held a call with most of the major American sports commissioners over the weekend in hopes of getting sports back on track, but things still look grim. In response to news of the call, California Governor Gavin Newsom basically said he doesn’t even expect the NFL starting on time.

The NFL season starts in September. Sep-fucking-tember. If Newsom doesn’t even think things will be safe by September, then how would we be able to play baseball in places like Minnesota, where it starts snowing in like October?? Unless…the league quarantined players at Spring Training facilities. I really think this is the only chance we have at a 2020 baseball season.

In theory, you quarantine all players in Arizona and/or Florida, only allow them minimal access to the outside world, and don’t allow fans to attend games. Yes, this sounds like a dystopian novel written by George Orwell, but it’s the only shot we have. Plus, there would be less risk of exposure if all 30 teams were headquartered in just one state (Arizona or Florida). There are ten Cactus League stadiums in Arizona (the preferred location in terms of weather), and if they were to double up on games in each stadium, it’s totally possible to get in a sufficient amount of games to be considered a legitimate season.

However, all it takes is for some idiot to break quarantine and expose himself to COVID-19 to put an end to this fantasy. I mean, how likely is it that you keep almost 900 players and staff from exposing themselves to the outside world? And then there’s the whole minor league situation, which would be even harder to contain. In a perfect world (under these circumstances) MLB executives would find a way to make the Cactus League home to the 2020 MLB season…but if we were living in a perfect world, COVID-19 wouldn’t exist either.

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T.V.

Malibu Paddle Boarder Arrested for Breaking Governor’s ‘Stay at Home’ Order

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SUP ATX or Tower or some paddle board company needs to use this video as a commercial. The pitch is simple: “Even with the risk of going to jail over breaking the governor’s stay at home order, paddle boarding is so worth it”. It also shows how crazy people are going since we have to stay cooped up in our homes all day. Was half an hour of paddle boarding worth the potential of six months in jail or a $1,000 fine? Not to the sane mind. But this is quarantine brain we’re dealing with.

This guy probably eat, sleeps, and breathes paddle boarding. You expect him to derail from his everyday routine at the drop of a hat? Haven’t you ever woken up from a nap thinking it’s the next day, but it’s really only been 45 minutes since you fell asleep? I think that’s what we’ve got going on here. The guy woke up thinking it was a typical April day and forgot all about the quarantine for the first time in weeks. He got down to the beach and saw how empty it was and became fixated on the ocean like a siren was seducing him. The more likely reality is that he just wanted to go viral…but I prefer the latter version. Regardless, this SUP pursuit was the most thrilling thing I’ve seen in weeks and is just a reminder of how badly we need this quarantine to be over (when it’s safe).

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Sports

The NBA Playoffs Could Be Held in Las Vegas & Have a New Format

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Via SI.com:

A return to the NBA’s Summer League home appears to be an increasingly popular idea as we enter the fourth week of the COVID-19 suspension, according to Sports Illustrated‘s Chris Mannix. The entire postseason could take place in Las Vegas, creating a sort of mass quarantine as 16 teams battle for the Larry O’Brien Trophy. The idea may seem outlandish, but in a crisis, the NBA has no choice but to get creative.

Ummm yes please?? In a world were Big Cat’s “Cat Cave Derby” is the closest thing we have to live sports, I am dying for the NBA to return. And if the idea of every team playing in one location sounds ridiculous to you, I’m assuming you don’t watch college sports? NCAA basketball conference tournaments and the College World Series are held in one location and no one complains about that do they?

We’re already living in unchartered territory, so why not make things even weirder and host the entire playoffs in Vegas. No one will have home court advantage, so that’s one issue that’ll be automatically eliminated. Plus, if your concern is the health of the players, isolating everyone in a single location is the best thing to avoid “contamination”.

However, the most interesting part of this article is towards the end:

There could also be format changes to the playoffs along with an altered location, per CNBC’s Jabari Young. The first round and the NBA Finals could be best-of-five series’, and the middle two rounds could become a single-game elimination matchup.

Now THAT is a change I was not expecting. Do I think this format actually gets utilized in the playoffs? No. Do I think there’s a sliver of a chance it does because the world is already losing its mind? Yes. I don’t understand why you’d play two single-elimination games after a best-of-five series. I think if their goal is to shorten the playoffs, a best-of-three, best-of-three, best-of-five, best-of-five format is the shortest you can go. Unless they would consider a March Madness-esque single-elimination tournament. However, that format would taint the eventual champion’s title forever because no other season has been decided that way. That’s why I think the only format that wouldn’t forever taint the season would be the 3, 3, 5, 5 format.

Regardless of what the NBA decides, I’d like basketball back as soon as the public health concern is at a manageable level. Ticket sales would obviously be nonexistent, but at least they’d be able to charge for advertising and give the country something to get behind. I think we need it more than ever right now.

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Sports

Oregon Softball Players Are Thirst Trapping the Internet Again

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Several University of Oregon softball players (mainly Haley Cruse and Jasmine Sievers) have gained an online presence over the past couple years by posting thirst traps like the one above. Good for them. They’re taking advantage of their good looks and will probably be able to profit off of it (if NCAA guidelines allow Instagram/Twitter sponsorships) if they haven’t already. I just wonder what it’s like to be an opponent of these ladies, and if there’s any shit talking during games.

Look, I’m a guy, so I’ve never played softball, nor have I attended more than a handful of softball games in my life. But I did play baseball, so I know that shit talking absolutely happens – not as frequently as in basketball or football, but it happens. However, I’ve been told that girls are even more ruthless than boys, so I have to assume girls talk shit on the bases and from the dugout. That being said, wouldn’t a girl(s) who makes Tik Toks and is very vocal online be just the absolute perfect target for an opponent to go after to get under their skin? And if not the team, the opposing fans should do their bidding for them right??

Chirping is not hard. You can say almost anything after a player does something bad and it works. Being social media famous just adds ammo. Here are some examples:

  • “Why don’t you go make some more Tik Toks you bum!” (It’s impossible to come back from being called a bum)
  • “Maybe you should spend a little more time in the cage instead of practicing dances!” (Implies they suck at hitting – usually something a softball player wants to be good at)
  • Do you think you’re good at dancing? (Subtle, but hits deep. Now she’s self conscious about her moves)
  • “I bet you pay for your followers!” (The equivalent of using HGH in the influencer community)
  • “You’re only hot for a softball player!” (Possibly the most lethal chirp of the bunch. Doesn’t matter if you actually find them attractive, it implies they’re nothing special outside of sports and could destroy confidence for the rest of the game/series.

Those are just a few options off the top of my head, but every video they post puts more bullets in the chamber. I hope teams/fans in the PAC-12 are doing their job and taking advantage of prime chirping opportunities. Sadly, since this season is a wash they’ll have to wait till next year. However, that’s approximately 300 tweets and 47 Tik Toks from now, so I’m sure they’ll have plenty of ammo.

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Sports

Should the NCAA Have Granted Spring Athletes Another Year of Eligibility?

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The NCAA finally released their statement regarding the the status of Spring athlete eligibility:

The Division I Council on Monday voted to allow schools to provide spring-sport student-athletes an additional season of competition and an extension of their period of eligibility.

Members also adjusted financial aid rules to allow teams to carry more members on scholarship to account for incoming recruits and student-athletes who had been in their last year of eligibility who decide to stay. In a nod to the financial uncertainty faced by higher education, the Council vote also provided schools with the flexibility to give students the opportunity to return for 2020-21 without requiring that athletics aid be provided at the same level awarded for 2019-20. This flexibility applies only to student-athletes who would have exhausted eligibility in 2019-20.

Schools also will have the ability to use the NCAA’s Student Assistance Fund to pay for scholarships for students who take advantage of the additional eligibility flexibility in 2020-21.

Division I rules limit student-athletes to four seasons of competition in a five-year period. The Council’s decision allows schools to self-apply waivers to restore one of those seasons of competition for student-athletes who had competed while eligible in the COVID-19-shortened 2020 spring season.

The Council also will allow schools to self-apply a one-year extension of eligibility for spring-sport student-athletes, effectively extending each student’s five-year “clock” by a year. This decision was especially important for student-athletes who had reached the end of their five-year clock in 2020 and saw their seasons end abruptly.

Winter sports were not included in the decision. Council members declined to extend eligibility for student-athletes in sports where all or much of their regular seasons were completed.

The Council also increased the roster limit in baseball for student-athletes impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, the only spring sport with such a limit.

In summary, they extended eligibility for all athletes impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, schools will be able to expand their rosters, and ONLY seniors will be given financial aid flexibility. It’s great to see the NCAA finally make a decision that actually puts the student-athletes first, since they’re usually branded as the villain. As beneficial as this decision will be for a lot of NCAA athletes, sadly, it opens the flood gates to more speculation. How will smaller schools structure their financial aid to accommodate for more players? Will coaches even want to increase their roster size? How will it impact graduate programs?

Of course it sucks that so many players had their season cut short, but as tough as it is to hear, shit happens. A lot of players don’t go out on their own terms. Some get hurt, some get cut, but most don’t have a storybook ending to their career like Peyton Manning. And even though a global pandemic is the last thing anyone ever expected to happen, that’s just the way the cookie crumbled.

Don’t get me wrong – some players will definitely get fifth-year opportunities. However, it also puts coaches in a tough position because they could be forced to cut players or take away an incoming freshman’s scholarship. Ultimately, that’ll be a joint decision between college officials and coaches, who will have to determine what they think is the right decision for their programs. Sadly, many schools won’t be able to afford to give out more scholarship money, meaning players will have to pay the entire sum, which most can’t financially afford.

We’ll see how everything plays out, but the NCAA’s decision created more problems than it solved. While the harsher decision would’ve been to just chop this season up as a loss and not lengthen eligibility, it might’ve been the right one. Still – more power to the players that do find opportunities to continue playing…keep grinding.

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Movies

Tom Hanks Had the Best Ten Year Run of Any Actor Ever

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Tom Hanks has had an unbelievably successful career. Many people (including myself) consider him the greatest actor of all time, and deservingly so. He has made hit movie after hit movie AND brought coronavirus attention to the forefront of people’s minds (not intentionally, but nonetheless!). Anyway, I think it’s fair to say that Hanks’s stretch of movies from 1992-2002 was the greatest ten-year run of any actor ever, in the history of the universe. Let’s take a looks at what Tommy put out over that time:

  • 1992: A League of Their Own
  • 1993: Sleepless in Seattle, Philadelphia
  • 1994: Forrest Gump
  • 1995: Apollo 13, Toy Story
  • 1996: That Thing You Do!
  • 1997: (Took a well-needed break)
  • 1998: Saving Private Ryan, You’ve Got Mail
  • 1999: The Green Mile, Toy Story 2
  • 2000: Cast Away
  • 2001: Band of Brothers (Executive producer)
  • 2002: Road to Perdition, Catch Me If You Can

Unless you’ve been living under a rock your whole life, or are younger than twelve years old, you’ve heard of, if not watched, at least 80% of the movies above. He made 14 movies in ten years, four of which are arguably the best movies of all time in their respective genres.

Saving Private Ryan is probably the greatest war movie ever, and a top ten movie of all time. I could be considered biased because it’s personally my favorite movie ever, but regardless, you can’t deny that it’s about as close to perfection as a war movie can get. It’s also worth mentioning that while he didn’t star in Band of Brothers, Tom Hanks, along with Steven Spielberg gave us one of the best miniseries’ of all time. I recently made it the #1 TV show to watch during the COVID-19 quarantine, and deservingly so. It’s not a surprise that just a few years after making arguably the best WWII movie of all time, Hanks gave us the best WWII TV show of all time – the guy just loves those stories. Legend.

Toy Story is was the world’s introduction to the animation powerhouse known as Pixar. Pixar has missed on a few movies, but for the most part, they only put out classics. Toy Story should go down as one of, if not the best animated movie of all time, and the fact that if propelled Pixar to the forefront of the animated movie world makes it all the more impressive.

The first time Tom Hanks teamed up with Meg Ryan was in 1990’s Joe Versus the Volcano, which is the ultimate movie to watch on shrooms. Actually, it was so weird when I watched it sober that I think I’d be way too freaked out if I watched it high. Regardless, if you want to watch something that is truly unique I recommend watching it. 1993’s Sleepless in Seattle, however, was a much more traditional and marketable movie for Hanks and Ryan. It’s also one of the best rom-coms ever made. As someone who loves The Bachelor, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I am a huge fan of rom coms, and Sleepless in Seattle is a top-tier choice.

As far as sports movies go, specifically baseball movies, A League of Their Own is one of the best of all time. It tells the story of the first female professional baseball league amidst the backdrop of WWII (inarguably one of Hanks’s favorite era’s). It also gave us the classic line “There’s no crying in baseball!” delivered by Hanks himself. It’ll make you laugh, it’ll make you cry, and I don’t think anyone else could’ve played the role of Jimmy Dugan better than Tom Hanks.

And I couldn’t write a Tom Hanks blog without mentioning Forrest Gump. It’s absurd to me that there are a group of people out there who actually think this is a bad movie. I understand that the movie’s storyline is absurd in its own right, but it’s a FANTASY. In the real world it would be nearly impossible for one man (with an IQ of 75) to make it out of rural Alabama to be a college football star, war hero, ping pong phenom, millionaire restaurateur, and cross country (literally) runner, but that’s the film’s charm! I’ll admit the Jenny storyline can get frustrating, but the rest of the movie overwhelmingly redeems the plot. I’m sure the same people that hate Forrest Gump also hate Inglorious Bastards and Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood because those movies took actual historical events and modified the details to change the course of history. Idiots. Love you Hanx!

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T.V.

‘Tiger King’ Will Go Down as the Show That Got Us Through the COVID-19 Quarantine

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I just finished watching Tiger King on Netflix. I think we can all agree that it’s the most insane documentary that’s ever been made. I’m upset that I never heard about Joe Exotic before this. How did a story this big remain relatively under wraps for so long? Regardless, it’s the best money that Netflix has ever spent. First you’ve got a gay, tiger-loving Joe Dirt, then a psycho cat lady who (might have ) killed her husband, and to top it off, an elephant-riding, orgy cult leader. That’s just gold TV,  and is as entertaining as any scripted TV show out there.

In a time where we have literally nothing else to do in our free time except watch TV and movies, this series came along at the perfect time. Did Carole kill her husband? Being that Carole and Howard are willing to sue anyone who slanders her name, I’m not going to give a definitive yes or no, but the documentary absolutely led us to believe that she did.  I mean, who includes “in the event of my disappearance” in their will?? Even if she didn’t do it, you’ve gotta hand it to her for being a world-class manipulator in ever other facet of her life/business. She profits off of her animals the same way Joe did (minus the breeding), but because she labeled it a “rescue” she’s magically free of all hate. Well not anymore!! We all see through her facade now even though I’m sure the local Floridians will still give the crazy cat lady some business.

Did Joe Exotic get set up by Jeff Lowe? Absolutely. Is he a good guy? Definitely not. No one in their right mind makes that many death threats towards a person and can be considered sane, but I don’t think he actually paid Allen Glover to kill Carole. And thanks to Cardi B, Joe Exotic could be a free man sooner than later, but he’s not free of all guilt. The way he reacted to Travis’s death proves he’s not genuine and lacks common human decency, plus he definitely killed some tigers. It doesn’t mean that he should spend the next twenty years in jail, but he should always be on a government watch list. And keep him from within 1,000 feet of a school at all times while you’re at it.

The cherry on top of this whole series was the shot of James Garretson riding a Sea-Doo in the last episode. There’s just no way they could’ve made this documentary without “Eye of the Tiger” being played at some point:

And are we absolutely sure he’s not the maid Berta (Conchata Ferrell) from Two and a Half Men?

I think the best thing to come out of this documentary is everyone casting their favorite actors and actresses to play these people if they were to make a movie. Kate McKinnon is already making a limited series on the subject, so the last thing to make is a full-length movie. The only actor who would absolutely NEED to be cast is Danny McBride. Personally, I see him portraying Doc Antle, but regardless of who he gets cast as, he should be at the top of the list for any director tackling this insane story.

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Sports

Rams Release Todd Gurley, Reminding People That No One Is Safe in Pro Sports

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The Rams have released star RB Todd Gurley and LB Clay Mathews. Sorry Clay, but this whole blog is going to be about Todd Gurley. Gurley was the face of the franchise – if Rams superfan YG is repping your jersey, you know it’s your team.

Gurley had been with the Rams since before their move to Los Angeles, and it sucks that he’ll never be able to call SoFi Stadium home. He endured the pain and suffering through the Jeff Fisher years and was a big reason they were able to reach the Super Bowl in 2018. Claiming the 2017 NFL Offensive POY, the Rams signed Gurley to a huge extension before the 2018 season for four years and $60 million – making him the highest paid running back in NFL history. And despite leading the league in touchdowns for the second straight year, Gurley’s knee became an issue, forcing him to sit out the final two games of the 2018 regular season.

Gurley’s usage continued to decline in 2019 as he rushed for a career-low 857 yards. As tough as it is for me to admit, I think this trade might be in the best interest of both the Rams and Gurley, who probably feels like he should be getting 20 touches per game. And for the Rams, this move is yet another in a trend of cleaning house this offseason. Sean McVay and the Rams have already parted ways with several coaches including special teams coordinator John Fassel, defensive coordinator Wade Philips, and running backs coach Skip Peete which should’ve tipped us off about Gurley.

As far as we know, Gurley’s knee is healthy right now, which is why this move is all the more surprising. Although, with it being a huge question mark the entire 2019 season, it seems like McVay would just rather start from scratch. This move also saves the Rams million$ in cap space, which is why I can appreciate it from a business perspective – why keep a guy you’re not 100% confident you can run your offense through (when he costs as much as Gurley)?  Alternatively, I’m a big homegrown talent guy. Nothing fires me up more than when a player my team drafted and nurtured becomes a stud…Gurley was one of those guys. As great as trading for premier talent is, there’s a different sense of pride fans take in being able to call a player exclusively theirs.

It’s actually incredible how many moves the Rams have made this offseason in preparation for their first year in SoFi Stadium. It’s also remarkable how well Todd Gurley took the news that he had been fired.

At his healthiest, Gurley is a top 5 running back and one of the most electric players in the league and I  truly wish him nothing but the best in the future. As far as the future of the Rams goes, it’s easy to question the youngest head coach in the league especially after a disappointing 9-7 record last season, but as calculated and smart as Sean McVay is, I think he knows what he’s doing. But, if Gurley comes back with a vengeance next season with another team, the only logical thing for McVay to do is blame this decision on having the Coronavirus and not being in the right state of mind.

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Sports

Would Clayton Kershaw Ever Pull a Tom Brady and Leave the Dodgers?

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When Tom Brady announced on Tuesday that he would not be returning to the New England Patriots for the 2020 season, it got me thinking about the fate of my own sports heroes. Tom Brady has meant as much to the city of Boston these last 20 years as John Adams did back in the Revolutionary Period. So when I started relating Brady’s situation to current long-term Los Angeles athletes, there’s really only one name that comes to mind: Clayton Kershaw. Of course I can’t bring up LA sports icons without mentioning Kobe Bryant, but he DID spend his whole career here. We got to witness all 20 years of his career right here in Los Angeles. On the other hand, Kershaw, like Brady, is still playing. So if we’re talking about the most impactful LA professional athletes of the last 15 years, Kershaw is second to only Kobe.

Eight All-Star selections, three Cy Young Awards, and an MVP are just a few of the accolades that Clayton Kershaw has managed to capture over his twelve year MLB career. The only thing that has eluded the long-time Dodgers ace is a World Series championship. However, knowing what we know now, it’s safe to assume the Dodgers were cheated out of a championship in 2017 at the hands of the Houston Asterisks. Regardless, despite the lack of a World Series trophy and postseason hardships, he is still my favorite player on the Dodgers, and has been for the better part of his career. So, if he decided to pull a Tom Brady and leave Chavez Ravine for another franchise, how would I feel about it?

Kershaw still has two years left on his current contract with the Dodgers, making him an unrestricted free agent in 2022. Despite some back issues over the past couple years that have sidelined him at times, he is still very effective. Just last season he was named an N.L. All-Star and finished eighth in Cy Young voting with a 16-5 record and 3.03 ERA in 178.1 innings. It’s tough to say whether or not he’ll be able to reach the 200 innings mark again in his career, but being that manager Dave Roberts named him the 2020 Opening Day starter (before Coronavirus delayed the start of the season) for the NINTH time in his career, it proves he’s still got it. In a rotation that includes young stud Walker Buehler, Kershaw really must’ve shown Roberts that even at 32 years old (happy birthday) he’s got the stuff to lead the staff.

The biggest difference between Kershaw and Brady at this point in their careers is their ages. Kershaw is ten years younger than Brady, which probably made it easier for the Patriots to part ways with the six-time Super Bowl Champion, being that coach Bill Belichick is known for parting ways with players sooner rather than later. In 2022, when Kershaw will be 34, assuming his performance hasn’t declined too much by then, he will be a highly sought-after free agent. He’s one of the most decorated pitchers in the league, and if he can manage to pitch 150-175 innings over the next two seasons and stay relatively healthy, why wouldn’t teams go after him? The Dodgers are one of the wealthiest sports teams in the world, but who knows if they think he’ll be worth his hefty price tag by then. Brady knew he could get more money going elsewhere, so what happens if Kershaw does the same thing.

At 34, assuming he hasn’t suffered any major injuries, Kershaw will no doubt have a lot left in the tank (5+ more years) and will be looking for the best deal. Sure, he’s been with the Dodgers since he was drafted by them in the first round back in 2006, but plenty of guys have left the only organization they’ve ever know in search of greener pastures. I’m at the point in my fandom that even if the Dodgers are foolish enough to let him go, I will root for him no matter where he ends up. He has given me so many fond memories throughout the years and is such a charitable person off the field that he’d be impossible to root against.

However, this is the type of player no team should ever let go of. He has become such a leader in the locker room and his name is so engrained in Dodgers lore that it is nearly impossible to think of him in another uniform. I’m not Andrew Friedman, but if he’s happy with the organization (all signs say he is) then the Dodgers need to do everything in their power to resign him and have him end his career in Dodger Blue.

Aaaaand now I’m feeling sentimental:

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